My Grandfather: long ago, my guardian.  Ninety five years of life.  My Grandmother: Eternally bubbly, now silenced.  Somber  as she faces the immenent loss of her husband of 70 plus years.  We all go.  We all touch others.

My life pauses as I honor their influences in my life.  They have always been there, a team, in the periphery.  As I look to the hazy edge of my concience, I see her-only her.  Not a member of a team anymore, but a single strong woman grasping to define her own still presence.  I see her bravery.  I am proud.

Each day is the same.  Structure is my friend, now.  I long for the free days of recklessness, but I live for these days that require sameness.   It's for my sons.  They need it-I provide it. 

I wake up each morning, knowing what's for breakfast, how the drive to work will be, when I'll have dinner.  Which is why my toddler's zest for life and quirky take on the world brings me so much joy.  I never know what will happen next in my structured life.  And it's because of that mystery that I smile each day.

The gurgly slobbery giggle that my 4 month old bestows upon me each morning sets my soul free. 

I live for these days of sameness.  If only they would never change.

It brings such childlike glee to me to have a person read my words.  I put an open house sign on my mind and someone cares enough to wander in and check me out.  I live here, day in and day out.  I like where I live and I want to share it with you. 

I strive to expand my state of mind.  I find I like it here in Gaia because I see so many others more astute than I.  I thank you all for instilling within me the desire to improve.

Middle Age. Higher Education. Enlightenment. Appreciation. Experimentation. 

Overwhelmingly uncontrollable love, supreme exhaustion; new Mom. 
Tightly clutching, eagerly encouraging independence; Mom to teen girls.
Compulsively introspective, tentatively trepidatious; Mom entering college.

Who are you?